The rhinovirus came to visit me at the end of last week. And, honestly, I am quite perturbed I have allowed it to enter my home. The knock came with a sore throat, which I quenched with warm water and sea salt, in the thought that this would be enough. Man, was I so wrong! If only I’d just taken the time to make old faithful of strong grated ginger tea, at the first knock, I wouldn’t be in this place right now.
In the last 72 hours, I have slept ten. I am rankled. I am grumpy, sleepy, and sneezy! Night before last, I was at the point of almost texting one of favorite pastor-friends to pray with me so that I wouldn’t lose it. I was that close! This human side…I tell ya! Instead, I did stretches, drank tea, massaged pressure points, prayed, applied facial, neck, chest, and shoulder gua sha, prayed, prayed, and prayed for relief of this nuisance. I fell asleep at 3 am, woke at 5 am, showered, and then spent two hours in the kitchen preparing healthy meals for the day. Left the house for my 8:30 am appointment, and arrived ten minutes early. Despite all this, I returned to my home at 12:45 pm with much gratitude.
Life can truly throw some unpredictable curve balls at the most inopportune times. I haven’t been this sick in two years! My concrete aesthetics of discipline, neatness, carefulness, and self-control, haven’t allowed for this to happen. Nonetheless, a slight decision not to follow-up on my intuition, has brought me to this space of temporary annoyance…a time of impatience, waiting, and of course, wistful longing…
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. (Proverbs, 16:9 ESV)
My natural facility of concrete aesthetics when balanced with relaxed and pliable traits, is a good approach for me. To consistently prevent states of glibness in my life, it’s important that I balance what can occasionally be austere, with what is extraordinarily informal. The dilution of work-formality occurs the closer I get to home. The informality of ponytails, natural curls, makeup-free skin, fleece, and fluffy socks, comfort me. I shed the costumes of my outer life, the regalia I must wear to defend and enhance my livelihood, to allow space for the comforts of my inner life. This home life of who I am with God.
No matter what’s thrown…
“To live in the presence of great truths and eternal laws, to be led by permanent ideas, that is what keeps a man patient when the world ignores him and calm and unspoiled when the world praises him.” –Epictetus
This week I sensed that my developing gift of writing would be meek, prosaic, and passively gallant. Still, in hope, I sat down, opened a Word document, and let candidness flow. The pleasantries of home capture the tone of my creative healing. It’s where I’ve pledged not to open the door to preventable illnesses for a while to come. The herbs grown in my summer gardens will likewise, guarantee this. The love of caring friends secures it. God’s love lives here. Healing comes. Gentle hardiness and fortitude leads me there.
Heavenly Father, thank you for displaying your love to me, even when I am physically feeling so awful, and would rather just curl up in the foetal position.
Your perfect healing is within my soul.
It’s up to me now.
I’ll love you, always…