The current wind of our times is harsh, hot, cold, and brutal. This wind I discuss is the mysterious and deadly weapon we currently hide from, quarantine from, lock our doors from, say “keep your distance from”, pray away…to stay away. It is uncertain and inconstant. It bloweth wherever it pleases. It moves where it wants to, and takes no command from the highest seat in every land. It’s not like the breeze and light Saul of Tarsus encountered (Acts 9:3-9). His was a soft, but auspicious blow, from the Most High. Jesus! His kind of breeze defeats any enemy or weapon before us. With faith and our ability to clearly listen, obey, and follow guidance, He will see us through.
Though I enjoy my own company, hiding from this harsh wind has been a bit unnerving. Before this, I used to say to friends, “When I am older, I’ll probably be an eccentric recluse”. Yet, this experience of last, now shows me, I was speaking from the tip of a hair strand and not my full and capable brain 🙂 This time away from the people I care about, my spiritual and craft communities, not being able to be near my whole-family unit, and the people I just started to get to know…the absence of all these aspects of communal processes, have been very difficult for me. It’s nice to have a choice to participate or not. Not partaking at all, based on this current unswerving and harsh wind, offers the much needed clarity I have been searching for. Once hard to parse, I know this deeply personal reflective thought and application, is ordered love from God. I am humbled by the experience.
“Humility encourages us to be open to seeking and receiving assistance and insight from others as we strive to live well.” (Helgevold, 2013, p.3).
I really like this quote. Yet, I’m not oblivious that I will not still occasionally walk right into the wilderness, but the plans God (Jeremiah 29:11) has for me still stands. God’s dream for my autonomous life has been carefully crafted. I am here for many reasons. And, lately it has become actively prevailing that most of all, I am here to love. Sometimes pure and precious love requires me to get involved, to interact, to listen, to smile, to hug, and to just be there, where ever there takes me.
This wind, which I know will eventually change its route or perhaps turn to cleansing rain, has given me such a beautiful gift. It has offered me a chance to welcome this love, a now imperceptible requirement for my heart’s invaluable survival. What is even more apparent to me is that I have already seen what this love looks like. I experience it every day within my most sincere imagination. It is not attached to any specific color, food or atmosphere. But yet, it is warm like the sun on my face, and cool as the breeze of Christ. It is restorative. It is the kind of love, I know one person holds for me. God knows this person well. And, this person knows God. I’ll know more about this person soon. For once, concerning this topic, I am elated to say…I am NOT afraid 🙂
I intend not to be estranged from the world after this current global challenge blows over. Though I am not sure the extent of my intentions. Small steps are usually my way forward. Nonetheless, it is nice to be cognizant and brave all the same. As I move toward this new change in my life, the breath in my soul absolutely requires it.
I have been chosen by God.
Lord, Here I am. Send me! (Isaiah 6:8)
Father thank you for allowing me the will to write from my heart each week. Though, this was a bit shorter than usual, your guidance has been soothing and helped me to see this to completion. I am this woman you made, who continues to find herself. Whether I am in the wilderness or otherwise, you, the ultimate compass, always guides me home.
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Helgevold, A. H. (2013) “Humility, oppression, and human flourishing: a critical appropriation of Aquinas on humility.” PhD (Doctor of Philosophy) thesis, University of Iowa. https://doi.org/10.17077/etd.27f0m744