Well it appears I may have at least another six months of school. Getting through chapter two of my dissertation was no joke. And, chapter three is now on the plate, not the chopping block, as it has been for the last four weeks. I write this, and I wait for feedback.
As I’ve shared with my two best friends, I really have no interest in walking down the aisle to receive the diploma. I really don’t. I want to defend, edit, publish, present, do collaborative research studies, assist my elderly friends as they continue to move through the aging process, complete significant community resilience research studies for the two major universities in Belize, and possibly live there on a part-time basis. My sister just recently learned of these plans, and is patiently waiting for me to settle in, so that she can join me there. I have responsibilities here in the United States (US) and have made a promise to the one person in my life who has seen me through so many difficulties. And, I intend to keep that promise.
The promises never leave, even with the delivery of an email from my dissertation chair yesterday. Usually, I’d cringe when I see these form of communications. Not because of the writer, but the content. The very content, which have posed significant delays of my completion in the past. She knows my feelings around this, so no secret here. Honestly though, this time I braced for it, and prepared myself mentally and emotionally, as I waited. It came, and I took it in stride. I didn’t put up a fuss, took the suggestions, contacted my advisor, and now, ready to move to the next steps. The next steps, which will be ever more brutal. But hey! Six months is not too far away. I better sit this one out, instead of being an annoying complainer. Can’t risk being kicked out of school, right? 🙂
In about six months I’ll have my weekends back, I’ll have more time for family and friends, and will be more patient with life’s processes. I’ll be able to fulfill everything I’ve put on hold for so very long. My experiences throughout this venture have not been easy. I intend to share this in my forthcoming book. Let’s just say a research on resilience, is my own personal story. It truly is!
The workings of God in others has seen me through. Despite my daily people challenges and circumstances. The workings of God in me! The twist and turns, the disappointments, and the broken promises…washed away by the love of Jesus Christ. I move on, I move ahead.
In just about six months, these current difficult times will cease. The difficult times now preparing me for what’s ahead. Yet, I know, life is not so problematic when I stay focused on simplicity. When I don’t have to try to impress, fit-in, make a name for myself or be like someone else. It is uncomplicated when I’m unfussy. When I am fussy, life becomes complicated. When I am down-to-earth, earth is more welcoming. When I take the time to appreciate the beautiful flowers in the grocery stores, even though it is quite the challenge to shop for anything in these times. Yes… when I take this time, I am always reminded, God shines. I can still smell the roses while wearing a face mask. My senses flow…When I help, I am helped.
Regrettably, when I think negative thoughts, I break things…I just broke the handle of my most favorite teapot, because I was thinking about how much a certain person in my life gets under my skin. Yikes! I know, I know. Remember, if I’m pinched I still bruise…minister or not. I can fix the teapot, and perhaps it will become a gentle piece of my small Wabi-sabi collection. In Japanese, Wabi meaning- “rustic simplicity” or “understated elegance” with a focus on a less-is-more mentality, and sabi meaning- “taking pleasure in the imperfect.” I can fix my heart too…broken so many times, and patched together over and over again. Yet, it still loves, even more fiercely…
David the great psalmist understood and accepted his imperfections.
“Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.”
– Psalm 51:1
My prayer every day is that I may not think one terrible thought about this person I’ve mentioned above. And, as I shared at my ordination “Father, I will try.” My teapots are just too precious, you know. 🙂 My prayer every day is to see this degree through without grumbles, chaos or disappointments. This is possible when I reach out to the people in my life, who are eager to have the whole of me back. The people who pray and wait to see me through. The only aisles I am interested in walking down are the ones where these prayer warriors await with open arms. The very aisle where I read more of David’s psalms. No doctoral hood, for instead, God’s beautiful alms (Matthew 6:4 KJV). I gracefully move toward it all.
Thanks so much Heavenly Father.
Your loving daughter,
Accompany me on my adventures. Know about what’s on my heart. Make beautiful things with me. Right here in my YouTube Community!