6th of November, 2019 (4:37 am)
Thus far, the month of November has kept me on my feet, has played with my head, but yet, has offered more clarity as my heart rejoices and continues to thrive. Going deeper is exhilarating as it is exhausting, and at this moment the primary element of my dig, is the fact that I am quite fatigued beyond measure. Creativity resides in all of me, though it is a strain to share my all at this moment. One of my last work assignment stripped everything within me. I am pleased that it has now ended as I am thankful for my cozy space to simply just be. I honor time out, I honor rest, and I honor wholeness.
I listen to myself, and I know my physical limits. I take care of myself, and I know my heart. I am aware of my responsibilities, and I know what feels right, and I embrace love, and I know my expectations. I offer myself a time of settling down as this year and decade closes. Much have been accomplish ’till now, but the greatest of them all is that my love for Jesus continues to grow, stronger, wider, and so much sweeter. Every day He teaches me. He brings forth lessons on community, and these are abound. Classes on love are beautiful, and workshops on self-care are numerous. Behold, He appears at every instance and life-occasion.
Jesus shows up even when I can’t. He keeps me vigilant to recognize quiet loves around me, He willingly supports me through the gentle affection of another; a touch to say I see you or one of simple gentleness and kindness. I am cognizant when He uses others to demonstrate my own love language; this, the language of touch. And, although I may quietly observe it all, when I leave these environments I shiver immensely in the knowing that I was noticed and admired by my Christ. That this affectionate act of His love was delivered to me. These pleasant energies are often embedded in my sleep. To those He uses in this manner, thank you for your obedience. You are welcomed in my space and I invite you to know my heart. Despite our differences, we connect through Him!
“Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its heights…Live in fragments no longer.”
To some, E.M. Forster lived an imperfect life. Others may even argue that he was a huge sinner, grounded in his relational choices. Still he was given a remarkable gift shone through his writings specifically on the theory of relatedness. Life in random directions, offers no consistency. Fragmentation separates. Wholeness heals.
With Jesus, I am whole. He is consistent. Brokenness may come, but never allowed to hang around past its welcome. I remain steady in my gait, even in moments of gentle weariness. In sleep, I am fully awake based on the wonders of my dream state. Delightful dreams are evident most nights I lay my head to rest. Snips of my life ahead? Perhaps! On the days that are the most challenging, honeyed dreams appear…
“For God does speak—now one way, now another— though no one perceives it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on people as they slumber in their beds.” – Job 33:14-15
The waves of my life, are divine expressions of your love. Thank you for showing me when I must rest. Thank you for displaying your love. Father, thank you for your peace. I will always wear the pearls of your grace with pride. Heavenly Father, it has always been you! It is You, evinced through the tenderness of others…
Your loving daughter,