Recent experiences of authentic love, a heavy heart, and faith criticism directed toward me, offer a plethora of topics to reflect on this week. In addition, I’ve recently noticed the flutter of my heart when I am in the company of a certain someone (blush), like the rhythmic flow of candle light. Like a white candle that moves ever so gracefully in the tempo of a gentle breeze. The same candle that warm my hands on cooler autumn evenings. The hands that would someday link to another…
Call me romantic, but I just can’t see my life with a God-sent love, to be lived any other way. Perhaps this is the prophetic coming to reality sooner than later or maybe I just enjoy holding on to this ever so pure imagination that frequently brings me hope.
But enough said on this topic. It’s just not the right moment for me to share on these things…
What I know must be discussed at this time, is the concept of embedded darkness in the soul. This blindness that can lead people into spirals of anger, disrespect, and plain ole’ foolishness.
A few evenings ago, this blindness was directed toward me. You see, I was in the company of someone I know very well. In fact, I’d place this person in the consideration of a good trusted friend. During our time of conversation, I listened, and she talked, and she talked. Throughout the process, I began to feel quite disrespected by her tone toward me. Her remarks were not kind and quite accusatory. I was appalled by them, and lost every effort to reintroduce emotional intelligence (EI) to my brain. I had a longing to protect me and my Christ, and no matter how much I tried to, I could not prevent the words that crossed my lips from spewing out. Yikes! I was quite angry, and I was full of much discontentment. Conversely, walking away to sit with my thoughts was my only option. I’d walk away several times in our friendship, but this time was different.
“People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun
but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is
if there is light from within.”
I sat with this, one of my most favorite quotes. I listened to my voice while I repeated it several times, and I permitted it to take up residency in my heart. Then I immediately reentered the conversation and apologized for my behavior. However, instead of politely accepting my apology, her anger continued to be directed toward me. All I could do at this point was provide compassionate listening as best I knew how. And, I returned quickly to what I know is my perfect peace…my Father, His Son, and my all-encompassing Holy Spirit.
The words I savor, the beautiful company that I always seek, and the peaceful presence I know, come only from my God. I keep His words to my heart, and sanction them to continually dissect and repair this soul of mine; the soul that shines so brightly when I am in alignment with who He is. I know that not only is this for my benefit, it is also for His renown.
I have asked for forgiveness of my speech toward her. It was the right thing to do. Yet, I know in the spiritual realm of my life, I have already been forgiven.
Your word is a lamp to guide
and a light for my path.
True beauty is in the heart, I often profess. When darkness falls upon me, I must immediately bring in the Light of Jesus Christ to shine through me. Finding clarity, the friendship I once had with this individual will never be the same. Yet, I continue to hold the Light for holism in her life. May she find sublime joy to accept the sufficiency of Our Father’s grace.
Furthermore, it is my credence that quality is definitely more important than quantity in all things, to include trusting and benevolent friendships. Friendships, as people discovering more of Jesus together. Expressing our gifts and likewise our needs as we build safe emotional spaces. To support and not to judge. To serve and to listen when needed. To make God’s love real, expressed through unlimited harmony.
With earnest care, I move forward.
Walls are falling down, and beautiful themes are being planted. While this saturates my being, I am profoundly pleased!
Thank you for this recognition Father. Your doings are always miraculous!
Your loving daughter,