One of the most pleasing elements of this new year, is how much I have already accomplished. By the third day of this month, I was almost through January’s calendar. I’ve completed many tasks while still having several opportunities for lazy leisure, which includes already, the completion of reading two books. I am grateful to God for easing up chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS); a minor ailment that creeps up every once in a while. Slight changes in diet and acquaintances, have manifested this healthy experience for nearly a year now. I am content.
In my earnest, understated, unobtrusive, and faithful life, is the muse of my authenticity. It is the place where CFS comes whenever it wants to, since it is part of who I am. It is where I curl up under my soft blankets and rest for as long as it is needed. For as long as my heart knows. It is also a place where, even when CFS visits, joy comes in the morning. It’s where despite this syndrome, I prepare healthy meals, spend precious moments with friends, write, draw, paint, craft, and sleep. When CFS arrives, I know my limits. Yet, in my giving to others, my life applies the indelible signature of pure love and of hope.
When CFS leaves, and energy returns, I offer thanks for the experience to solely be in the company of God with no unnecessary interruptions, no emails or persistent phone calls. The moments, the visits, the signs, the smiles, the hugs, the conversations, the power, the help, the gift, and the kindness of all…all representations of God in people who love me. It’s usually a time of passionate rejoicing and thanksgiving. A time of greatness as I realize and understand more deeply, the meaning of all this. This time that shatters my soul as all pieces attach themselves again constructing a space of compassion, to love, and to be loved, ever so, more greatly.
This love of God!
I see my Father in everything, I experience Him in all things. When I return from imperative rest, I am resurrected with Christ in me. I am remade into someone with more creative ideas, energy, joy, and peace. I am more love.
I speak on this, because it is a small part of me. Beneath the clothes is the special-ness of this syndrome. This remarkable gift embedded into my beautiful life. The one that allows me to take action when I can, to make things happen, to create something new, to listen more intently, to know and experience real love, to soar right into earthly arms representing my Savior Christ Jesus, to see and feel more intensely, to understand better, the private unexpressed pain and longing in others…all as strong life-connections and representations of God’s love.
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29)
I close my eyes to rest and feel your kind eyes wanting to serve me, I hug you and I say thank you. Beneath you, there is you. The temporal relativity of it all, at the most cellular sense, brings me nearer to you. Draws me nearer to Thee.
I take action, and I say thank you for your compassionate love.
This syndrome. This gift.
Father, thank for the gift of intuition. Thank you for knowledge. Thank you for courage. Thank you for family. Thank you for friends. Thank you for the gift of love.
Your loving daughter,