On this early morning, the wind blows with no empathy. It is cold and damp. The form of wind I’m acquainted with during my winter visits in southern regions of the United States (US). The kind that takes the homeless hostage and causes stray animals to dig deep to escape it. Oh! I pray Lord, that everyone and living thing can be warm as they experience your Kingdom right now. This kingdom of your love and protection.
My work for the year has slowed down. My early mornings begin in prayer, reading, email responses, a trip to the greenhouse, walking the dogs, tea, and then pleasant work. All is good. God is good. My soul is full. My soul is quiet. My soul consistently produces such sweet love. It is at peace.
Looking toward the future, I am pleased. Right here in the present, my mind is tame. With clear light I see. God’s light generates contentment. I am blessed. Not neglecting need around me, I work for my own liberation. No one else’s. When I do for me, I have more will to do for others. Nurturing friends overflow.
Happy I am that I have no desire to compete. It’s so comforting to know and acknowledge this. Recently I’ve thought about pulling out my skis again. Yet, I am quite aware that I am more a sleigh ride and hot chocolate kinda woman 🙂 My last experience on the slopes was just not as fulfilling to my heart any longer. Perhaps this comes with age, or maybe I’ve never enjoyed it. Friends and companions did, and I tagged along for the journey. And, surprisingly I was good at it. Yet, it never satisfied me. Now when friends ski, I read, craft, and cook a welcoming warm meal for everyone upon their return. Now this, this… soothes my soul.
My Maker knows what’s best. He creates my best. I am fulfilled by my best. I stay with these feelings. And, I’ll stay a while…
This time with you Father is mine alone.
I know my needs and desires, and occasionally it takes a stumble here or there to find them. It has been hypothesized that it’s through our own wilderness (troubles, disappointments, scarcity, and etc.) , we find the Promised Land. The Old covenant shows so many verses on wilderness-paths. Yet, even in the wilderness, God’s Hesed was always there. His Hesed for me is always here!
Hesed: When the person from whom I have a right to expect nothing, gives everything (Card, 2018).
“I cared for you in the wilderness, in the land of drought.” (Hosea 13:5)
When I am thirsty, my faith is quenched. When I am hungry, I am fed. When I am cold, His love warms me. The cold morning wind draws me nearer to thee. My truth is extraordinarily wholesome, magnificent, glorious, and courageous. It is powerful! I am lovable! I am loved! The Divine detours that brought me here, were just what I needed from childbirth to now. As the Israelites, I too have imposed disobedience and unbelief (Num. 14: 1-2). And, like the Israelites, I have experienced elements of tough love (Num. 14:23-24); yet still, Love. God’s love!
A devoted relationship with Our Father eradicates my hubris, my ego, neediness, and impatience. In this relationship, I have found myself. Right in this place, here and now…my milk and honey.
With you Father, I have all the time and attention I need. The dreams of my individuality have been realized. I shape my destiny. I share your gifts with the world.
Thank you most loving Father! Thank you for always drawing me nearer to thee.
Source: Card, M. (2018). Inexpressible: Hesed and the mystery of God’s lovingkindness. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Books